i would like to apologize to myself for not having time to do one of the things that i love to do, and that is to write. i've been preoccupied with work, study and other stuff that when i get home, writing a story would just take too much of my energy. i often times just want to sleep.

so to all and most importantly to me, sorry.
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written produce are on a pause.

wrote this after speaking with someone i thought i had a chance with. good looking, eloquent and smart. things i found attractive on someone. what i wanted on someone. 1 guess on what happened
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is it too much for one person to dream?

is an escape from reality and the harshness of life so bad to ask for? what makes a good man break his sanity when he aims for the sun and end up in flames? is a long shot really that hard to make when part of you still longs to take it ever so desperately? what assurance does one have to risk it? a picturesque vision of the perfect life, a far fetched reality, far from me, i think.

when do i hear the voice? when do i feel the soft brush of each whisper along my cheek as we dance through an old corny love song? when will all this be mine?

is it too much to ask?

well who was to say that something i thought was so good could end so fast. this was written during the times when i felt so uneasy with my ex. it's not finished though, much like my relationship with her.
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I’ve wanted to set things right. But the truth is such an inconvenient necessity to accomplish that I I’m not sure whether or not I could give it to those whom deserve it. And as I continuously live under the veil of unspoken truths, lives strive through each hardship, my own and the others that I affect in some way. How do I tread the path when I set for a journey to be straight and unwavering yet decisions I make keep on springing out curves and forks? How do I stay strong when I live unsure of what I want in life?

Wanting to see things done with its just ending, I waded through the waves of time. But the unspoken continuously remains to be hidden and the lives carry on. I’ve lied none but I might have well done so, for I am afraid. I fear to hurt and get hurt. I believe that I am a coward.

Promises are meant to bind the person in essence to the one whom he wishes to share himself with. I have been promising and I have been bound to a lot of people. So far, I live vicariously and free of guilt. But how do I get over a promise of love, when I know in myself that love is dwindling. The pain of wanting is denting a love that should have been perfect in every way.

I would like to point of some things in my defense, despite the fact that my uncertainty and non-disclosure of it merits no excuse. I would just like to say my piece.

I believe that I love and I know I still do. But when the emotion and passion does not flow, how then does anyone share something that is stagnant. I enduringly give out my love and constantly show that I care but alas, all I receive in return is an untoward remark and ridicule here and there. Yes, I understand that she says that these are her ways to show endearment, mind you I myself have spells of exasperation, but I always tell that I am out of sorts that day.

----- an excerpt of my former relationship.